I've realized some important things the past few days, even in the midst of my continuing sorrow, pain, and apprehensions.
1) I have presumed on God's will. I've presumed on Him in that I assumed that what I wanted - and what I want is a God-honoring thing - is what He wanted too, and that He would do it. Yes, what I ask for is something that would honor Him, but it may not be His will. I don't know what His will is. I have presumed on God's will.
2) I have believed in word that God's plan is best. But I have not believed that in my heart. I have held onto my desires, refusing to see how what God is doing can really turn out as even more than I could have dreamed.
3) I have not surrendered everything. Because I wasn't believing that God's plan could be best, I was holding onto my ideals.
Lord, thank you for continually taking me steps towards being where You want me to be. Thank you for your patience and gentleness in opening my eyes and heart gradually.