Nostalgia Re-thought

I wrote the previous post Saturday night. Sunday morning on the way to church, riding in the second-row bench seat of our 12-passenger van, I was reading a piece of paper given to me several years ago, and which had been hidden in a box of my old journals, books, etc since then. It's so amazing "ironic" how God unearths the hidden things at just the right moment, that moment when we need them! This little paper was kind of an "evaluation" of yourself - describing the "flesh-woman" and the "spirit-filled" woman. I found very little of me in the "spirit-woman" and my name was written ALL OVER the "flesh-woman." I have SO much to work on! But what really jumped out at me, I literally nearly gasped out loud, was this small sentence:

"Disappointment with what isn't swallows the joy of what is."

I've never wanted my "past" to dictate the way I live my "present," but I can see that I've been doing that lately. I've let disappointment cloud out the joy of what God has given to me; I have been given so much, I have so much that "is." What "isn't" is exactly that...it "isn't." Nada. Zippo. Fine'. Old news. Time to move on.

For us single women, it's so hard not to live in our disappointments. Disappointment over our prolonged singleness; disappointment that that godly guy never even noticed us; disappointment over not getting that job; disappointment that our lives aren't as exciting as we'd dreamed; etc, etc. It's almost comforting to re-live our disappointment, either as a balm to soothe the wound, as a way to feel justified, or as a protection mechanism against future pain. Withour realizing the lie we are believing, it's so easy to let ourselves wallow in the warped glory of our emotional suffering.

Why do this when I have been given so much? A wonderful, irreplaceable family - two wonderful parents with a great marriage, seven brothers and sisters, two in-laws, three beautiful nieces, one adorable nephew, 7 delightful cats, a home that is a true haven with such a gorgeous view of the sunset, a job perfectly suited for this time in my life, a healthy body and constitution, a copy of the Word of God that is LEGAL to read, and JESUS, the beginning and the last.

"Count your many blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done."