Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Wednesday ~ Conversations from the Closet: My Empty Worth

Yesterday I left work feeling not overwhelmed and depressed, but just sorta needy. That kind of neediness that comes from just needing to talk some things out with God in full honesty.

After getting home, I dropped off my purse, camera bag and lunch bag onto my bed, grabbed my blanket, bible and journal and closed the door behind me in our unheated walk-in closet.

And I talked with God.

I confess to being a little out of practice in the art of full disclosure with God. But talking with God is like peeling back the proverbial onion, done layer by layer. It takes time, but it gets easier and easier. I talk out loud when I pray, it helps me connect my mind more fully with the presence of God in my heart. And so I huddled under my blanket and peeled back the layers on my heart one by one before God.


“For when I kept silent [with God], my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For night and day your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. I acknowledged my sin to you and I did not cover my iniquity.”
(Psalms 32:3-5)

“But when I thought how to understand [overwhelming circumstances], it seemed to me a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God...”
(Psalms  73:16-17)

Sometimes it's hardest to get quiet before the Lord because it's then in His presence that we're faced with just how empty and useless we really are.

 But that's what is so awesome about God. It's only God who makes something out of what is nothing. And my emptiness and uselessness (my nothing) is exactly what God takes in His hands and fashions into something. Something that pleases Him and is the worship He deserves.

I don't like feeling that on my own I amount to nothing. I don't like knowing that without Christ there is nothing of true value about me. Apart from Christ, I truly am nothing and I don't like that. I feel stronger and more in control when I hold onto something of value about myself of my own making...but when I do that, I still have that unquenchable neediness inside me that comes from holding onto those worthless trophies and trinkets.


“...for apart from Me, you [are] nothing.”
(John 15:5)

“Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before You.”
(Psalms 39:5)

But that's another thing about God and that's that He gives me a feeling of worth in my emptiness. It's when I fully let go, emptying myself of all earthly value and credit, that I suddenly feel the worth that I crave to find. My true worth in Christ alone. The full-to-over-flowing kind of worth.

And it fills me up completely.

Something out of nothing?
Worth found in emptiness?
Only in Christ.


“Those who look to Him are radiant...”
(Psalms 34:5)


  1. Girl, you are definitely a transparent blogger! Thank you for sharing your imperfections and struggles and how God is using you and changing you through those times. That's something that is so hard to do and yet can be so fulfilling at the same time. :) Love your heart and those verses you shared!!

  2. Kiki: Thanks, sister-friend! That is very encouraging to me! *hug*

  3. This is a really amazing post! I liked the Bible verses that you chose for this. Thanks for sharing your experience.

  4. Great post. I wish I had that hability to talk to God like this. Unfortunatly, most of the time I pray during my daily devotions rather because I "have to" (I hate writing it like this...But the envy of praying is not necessarly here at first) and then during the day there's more short prayers to cry out to go in the silence of my heart. And I love reading that you're coming from work and right away talking to God. My first action is usually to take my computer off of my bag and turn it on...So bad !
    Thanks for sharing, Kellie, and I really like the new design !
    Blessings from France

  5. Gina: Thank you for visiting my blog and taking the time to read and comment! I do love sharing my life experiences and hopefully it's an encouragement! :)

    Marie: Like I said...I'm kinda out of practice with transparent talking to God lately, but I have found in the past and still find it to be so true that just talking to God about life really sets us free. It doesn't have to be long and drawn-out, even just a few minutes of just talking to God goes a long way, as long as it's honest and real before Him! I encourage you to try setting some time aside to just talk to God. And I must say that prayer immediately after getting home from work is not the norm, but it would be a neat goal to strive for, wouldn't it? As long as it's not a formula or "rule" that I follow just to "do" the right thing - talking to God is about following His Spirit by the Spirit's leading! Thanks for reading and commenting, Marie!!

  6. I'm there, my friend...many days. <3
    Love you

  7. Megs: I know it, my friendie, and am so grateful for you and your constant encouragement! *hug*


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