I wish I could say that I've been doing these crazy amazing things with all my free time, like running a few marathons, saving some animal, or even being this crafting maniac, but that would be a bold-faced lie. My days have looked a little more like yoga-pants-wearing-ice-cream-eating-Psych-watching-book-reading sprees. And I don't even do yoga.
Being that it's now been one week without a job and no blips on the job radar, I confess that my faith waivers. Maybe just a lot. But I am learning a few things about my faith and the brand of faith that I have. Specifically, how I'm afraid to actually let go and trust God. See, in the past, I've prayed hard and heavy for things that I thought were God's will, but those prayers went very unanswered. I came away from that feeling like God let me down. Since then, I've realized that those prayers were actually better left unanswered (praise God) and my head is so thankful. But my emotions, that part of me that for so long felt like God had let me down, still remembers. And it's those feelings that are screaming out at me right now and so, I'm afraid to actually trust God...because I don't want to be let down again.
Yah, one hundred percent bologna sandwich. But have you ever tried forcing the emo's down and out? News flash: they don't go easy. So, that's been my daily battle. If you're praying for me right now, that's how you could pray. Oh, and that I'd also get a job and not have to leave my new house with my wonderful room with the gorgeous gray walls that I still haven't even gotten to decorate yet.
No pressure, Lord.
Praying for you! Something will come along...you're right though--it only takes one little phone call. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Angela! That means a lot! Waiting for a job is like waiting for a husband - you just need one good one. ;)
DeleteLove the books...you just gave me more to read :)
ReplyDeleteYay! I'll be posting reviews on some of them, too! I'm reading faster than I can write reviews these days, haha!
DeleteOh. My. She is ALIVE! Thank goodness. :)
ReplyDeleteYes, Kellie - all it takes is one moment, one phone call! Girl, you are going to hear that ring and one of the times you answer, it'll be the call you've been waiting for. Don't lose faith.
Hey, I don't blame you for taking it easy and catching up on all those "fun things" life gets too busy sometimes to enjoy - look at it this way, you can enjoy all these fun, emotional books.
*squeal*
You have Barefoot Summer! Oh, my - that book, Kara just read it also and enjoyed. Ooo, let me know what you think of Rene's and I've been hearing great things about Tamera lately, so yeah, I'll have to read hers. Someday. :)
Yes! I finally got in in the mail! Along with like three others all within the space of a few days! I've been reading a lot with my spare time and I'm back-logged on review writing! I have three books waiting now and I need/want to get them posted soon...but also without overloading all of you with it! :D
DeleteI'm super excited about Rene's book, I've read quite a few of her others and really, really like them. I was so excited to be able to review a book from an author that I already was familiar with! Felt so posh. ;) Just finished Splitting Harriet and loved it even more than Perfecting Kate. Review to come. ;)
Loved this muchly. Praying! <3
ReplyDeleteThank you, Alexandra!
Delete1. I'm glad you're alive.
ReplyDelete2. I know and understand your feelings about praying for things that you thought were in God's plans, letting go of those plans, and then realizing how much better God's plans are. It's a long journey, but like you said, in the end, His perfect plans prevail. And it's in my impatience that I too easily forget that!
3. I love how your posts reveal so many things about me and my faith. I'm grateful for that. :)
4. You're so pretty, friend!
5. I'm praying for ya.
6. I can't wait to see more photos of your decorated gray walls! :)
Love your comment style, gal!
DeleteSo glad that we so often find ourselves sorta in the same place! Better to encourage each other, I say! And thank you for your prayers, have I mentioned how much that means to me??
And hopefully me and my gray walls will be stickin' together for awhile to come! ;)
Yeah, I think I like this way of commenting, too. It makes things fun and I like the idea of lists. Plus, who doesn't like longer looking comments? :)
DeleteAnd I love that we've been experiencing some of the same things, too! It's not only encouragement, but it reminds me that I'm never alone!
HAHAHA...oh yes, love your brutal honesty! Longer comments always get me excited, too!
DeleteAhhh!! I love how real you are, Kellie!! And go you for the no makeup pic! I instantly fall in love with anyone who does that...haha :) (in a totally not creepy way of course ;))
ReplyDeleteHaha, you noticed I had no make-up! That's okay, I actually hardly gave it a thought! That was one of my rules about my blog back when I first started posting photos, to post the REAL photos of me. Yes, I like posting the ones where I've got my makeup and outfit together best, but I also have to post the ones where I'm frumpy and unpainted. ;) And the older I get, the more I really could care less. :D
DeleteI just bought Once upon a Prince on Friday, and love it so far. Grant it I've only had a change to read about six chapters. But seriously, I do hope you find a job. The Lord always provides--which is once things I am learning this summer. =) Keep your chin up and keep smiling!
ReplyDeleteYay! I've had Once Upon a Prince for awhile now, after winning it in a blog contest, and I want so much to sit down and get to it, but am making myself put my review copies on top priority! But I'm getting SO close to the end of my reading stack and it's coming up close. :)
DeleteI'm praying for your job hunt, dear! I job hunted about 8 months ago. For about a month I was sending out 5-10 applications every day and not hearing back from a single one. Then, all of a sudden, I had around 8 interviews in a 2 week period and got hired at one of those. Don't give up hope after just a week1 :-)
ReplyDeleteWow, Susannah, that must have been so discouraging!! I know that one week is pretty small, but seeing as how I had no emergency funds saved up for not having a job and a rent check looming on the ever-approaching horizon, I find myself getting antsy! But God will provide. Even if that means moving out of my sweet little house and back into the family's house...God will still provide. :)
DeleteDefinitely continuing to pray for you on your job search. It's not fun.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I just looked up all those books on B&N.com. You definitely have to let me know about Misery Loves Company and Barefoot Summer! I'm really interested in those. :)
I'll be having reviews up on the in the next week or so, Jess! Keep on the look out! Starting Barefoot Summer today. :)
DeleteJust looked up Barefoot Summer since everyone was talking about it! The main character's name is Madison :) It's gonna be a good one I'm SURE, Kellie! :)
ReplyDeleteMy sister is going through the same thing with all those job applications...still waiting for a phone call! People are just not quick these days :/
I think you're going to be right, Mads! Based on other people's reviews and how much I'm already enjoying it even after like six pages...it might just be a winner.
DeleteHope your sister finds something soon! I do like how many businesses now are switching to online applications - saves a lot of leg work and gas money!
See now online applications....Cassidy hates those for some reason. She said she would so much rather write something down on real paper....whatever; she's crazy!
DeleteI like that you call me Mads! It's cute and no one else calls me that. So it is like your special little bloggy nickname for me :)
Haha, I guess that's just my inner shyness coming out - I prefer impersonal online applications to scary face to face paper application hand ins. ;)
DeleteWhat, really? No one ever calls you Mads? I thought for sure that that would be like Nickname Numero Uno for you, like Kel is for me. Well then, I am more than happy to claim it. :D
Nope...I have Maddie, Mad, Cassidy (which my mother so bestows upon every once in a while) :) but never Mads!
DeleteWell then, Mads is all mine. :)
Deletesooo I emailed you to let you know I've been praying for you but I just wanted to let you know that I have been! can't wait to see where God places you..it will be abundantly more than you can ask or imagine!! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jessica! I'm planning on emailing you back soon!
DeleteHey there! I see you've read a favorite book of mine. Here's hoping you enjoyed it. I have reread Splitting Harriet more times than I can count! :) Still praying, my friend!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kara!! And I really enjoyed Splitting Harriet! Although being the motorcycle lovin' gal that I am, I know that I for sure would have been a lot more quicker to hop on. ;)
Delete