Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Wednesday | Unemployed

 

Life sometimes takes unexpected turns. And right now, mine has, too. Because I lost my job. Four years in that tiny little office that felt like my second home, poof - gone, just like that. No, I wasn't fired or anything else nasty like that, it has to do with consultants, end of contracts, and my company losing to the highest bidder. Yah, confusing. But the end results is painfully clear in that Kellie is now unemployed and has joined the ranks of the teaming masses looking for a job.

Am I sad? Yes. Did I cry? Yes and my pillow can tell you all about it. Do I have any job leads or clues where to find work? Nope. Do I have bills to pay? Oh yes. Am I feeling a little panicky? Yes.

God has always provided for me. I've never gone hungry or homeless. I've lived off of little before. But that was also before I had a rent and utility check, gas bill, phone bill and a few other miscellaneous bills to pay each month. If I was a super-Christian, I'd be that person looking at this as this awesome chance to see God move and getting the popcorn ready to sit back and watch the show as God provides for my every need.

But that's not me today. I wish it was. I wish that my old panic attacks (old friends I thought I'd shook off) weren't trying to pay me visits this morning. I wish that I could laugh at the times to come (Prov. 31: 25). But yah, that's not me today.

But today instead of being that super-Christian who's ready for the show, I'm hanging by a few fingers to the Truth that God is my Jehova Jireh, my Provider. I love the Jehova names of God, they've always held an extra special importance to me and in my life, I have seen God be my Jehova Jireh over and over and over again. Why is it so easy for me to look back on those times He's totally pulled through for me (which was always) and to still look with worry on what's happening right now? I don't know.

So, my faith is weak today as I'm trying to figure out what to do and how I'm going to find another job. That's just the honest truth about me today. But those few fingers clinging to Truth are reminding me that the honest truth about God is that He will never let me down, He will always provide in some way (although sometimes not the way I imagine) and that me being suddenly unemployed is NOT a surprise to Him.

I can find my safe place in that today.

48 comments:

  1. Praying that the Lord would provide you with exactly what you need, Kellie! He is faithful always, and I'm sure that He will do just that!

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    1. Thank you, Lauren! I appreciate those words a lot. :)

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  2. Lifting you up in prayer today friend. I know the fear that comes with the potential job loss. I had word that my job was ending in December and I have been full of fear and anxiety for months, doubting God's plan, lacking faith that he is my provider, forgetting all the times he has came through for me. Yesterday in the midst of that fear, I was offered a position working for the state of Idaho I never dreamed I would've had a chance at. I dont say this to rub salt in your wound, I say it to testify that God WILL PROVIDE for you! I know it in my heart. Praying for you.

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    1. Brittany, thank you so much! For your prayers today and those encouraging words! Seeing how God has provided for you has encouraged me today!

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  3. Oh my word, Kellie! ::big hug:: I so wish you don't have to go through this...it's SUCH a test on your faith, my friend, & this is rough. I know you know God will provide, but hang in there, my friend. And let this make you stronger...& remember God is seldom early, but never late. <3

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    1. Thanks, Meghan!! Yah, when it comes down to money, the faith-test always seems a lot harder! But yes, God will provide. In His time. :)

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  4. oh no!! so sorry to hear this! i will say some prayers for a quick job search for you. i am looking for a full-time teaching job,so i know how upsetting/disappointing it can be,but i try my best to trust in Him even though i am freaking out too :)

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    1. Thank you for your prayers, Victoria! I just prayed that He would provide a job for you, too! Thanks for the reminder to trust Him!

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  5. I'm so sorry girl! I know just how you feel, I got let go about a month ago for no definable reason and just now have (hopefully) found something! A lot of tears were shed and a lot of prayers were said!
    I'll be praying for you, I know you'll find something great! =)

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    1. I'm so glad you've (hopefully) found something to replace your other job! Yeesh, I'll tell it to you straight - jobs and money are two of the most stressful things in the world!!

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  6. Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry to hear this, girl! *many hugs...and a chocolate bar* I know this must be really hard. But even amidst the tears you still are clinging to God and that's beautiful. He will hold you up and provide! You're absolutely in my prayers!

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    1. Lol, Laurie, that bit about the chocolate bar just made me laugh! Love it and thanks. :) Thanks for your prayers. Really. :)

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  7. Praying for you friend! Job hunting is not fun at all... But I know God will use you to do great things. He already is! In times of uncertainty it's hard to hold on to the truths of God's provisions--but you are strong, girl and I know you can handle anything life throws your way. Jobless or not you are still an inspiration to me... Here's proof: http://harrellsonhood.blogspot.com/2013/07/making-good-monday-part-3.html

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    1. Wow, Angela...like I commented on that post, I'm totally blown away!! Thank you for that encouragement today! I really needed it!! Thank you for your prayers!!

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  8. Praying for you! Job hunting is NOT fun, doing it myself right now actually. *hugs*

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    1. Well, at least we're in in together, right? *cue High School Musical song* I'll pray for you, Alexandra!

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  9. Don't know what else to say but I. get. this. And I'm praying for you.

    Oh? (I knew I'd think of something else I wanted to say!) Remember what Jesus says about faith? It doesn't have to be a big faith. Even a mustard seed-sized, clinging-with-a-few-fingers faith is still enough. :)

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    1. Wow...Rachel, thank you for that ending reminder. I really needed to be reminded of that! Thank you!!

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  10. Wow, that must be hard to even think through. A job just gone like that. But hold on, even if it is only by the fingertips. Hold on, HE will come through for you. There will be a time when you will look back at today and rejoice for what God taught you through this trial.
    My company is looking for an office person.... how do you feel about relocating to Alaska? lol :D
    Praying for you Kellie.

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    1. Hey now, Alaska sounds great and office-person jobs are what I like! :D But hhmm, relocating away from my family? Sigh, don't think I could do it! ;)

      Thank you for those encouraging words!!!

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  11. Oh, so sorry to hear this, Kellie! This is a scary prospect when you loose that sense of "security." Know that I'll be thinking about you, and wishing right along with you in this process to find a job and regain that financial stability. Trust in Him above all - never forget that, my friend. :)

    Selfishly, I must say it's good to "hear" your voice again. Was worried about you this past week.

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    1. Thank you, Rissi! I really am trying to trust the Lord. Just a week or so I'd been praying that God would even then be strengthening for the next big test of my faith...and here's that test, just around the corner. I'm already today, since writing that post, feeling stronger and more encouraged in the Lord. He is so faithful. :)

      Yah, just been busy...and preoccupied! Haven't had the time or emotional energy to write out a post or even edit photos. I used to post my photos from work, but now my routine will have to change, since I'll obviously not be doing that anymore! But hey, I have a smashingly brilliant new desk and it just begs me to sit at it and work on my laptop. :)

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  12. Awww I'm so sorry, Kellie. I'm praying for you and sending hugs!

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    1. Thank you, dear girl! Hugs back!

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  13. Wow that is awful! You are in my prayers, Kellie girl...really!!

    I'd give you a job in a heartbeat! :)

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    1. Haha, thank you, you crazy girl, you!! :)

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  14. Why is it so easy for me to look back on those times He's totally pulled through for me (which was always) and to still look with worry on what's happening right now? I don't know.
    With this line you have actually put my thoughts into words. Praying for you. Take care.

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  15. Oh, Kellie! I'm so sorry that this happened. And yeah, internalizing and "living out" the fact that God provides for his children is definitely harder than just nodding along with it when things are going great and it looks like our self-sufficienct nature has done all the hard work. I'll be praying for you!

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    1. True faith is what be become when the rubber meets the road, eh? Since this morning when I posted, I've already had the Lord sorta swoop in and speak degrees of His peace into my heart. I'm resting easier now, praise God. And thanks to everybody's prayers, wow...I'm just blown away by how everyone has left such uplifting post and offers of prayer. So.Huge.To.Me.

      Thanks for this comment, Taylor! :) Psst. I just found a way to watch Doctor Who Season 7!!! Yay!! Guess what I'll be doing with my unemployment time...in between job hunting, that is. ;)

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    2. His peace IS amazing, and it totally does surpass all understanding! What would we do without the love and patience of Christ in our lives, huh?

      Ooooh, will you please share your secret to watching season 7?! Pretty, pretty, please? I'm trying to wait for the box set, but I want to watch it with my brothers before one of them heads off to school this fall.

      Good luck (er, providentially guided success...) in your job search. I'll be excited to hear what God has for you next!

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    3. I wasn't able to watch the wholeseason 7 after all *tragic weeping* but I was able to watch the first half. Don't you have Amazon Prime, gral? With Prime, you can watch it for free. It's only maybe 5 or 6 episodes, the ones with Amy and Rory *cue more hysterical weeping* but it was half way to the end...for free! :D

      Haha, providentially guided success....that cracked me up, girl! You seriously need to start your own blog? Okay? Pretty please? :D

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    4. I never even thought of checking Prime! Silly, silly me. Oh well, in the meantime my impatient self (still don't quite have a handle on her yet...) went ahead and bought part 1 of season 7 ('cuz really, it was only 15 bucks and the second part is the same price, which, if you do the math is *only* thirty dollars - and I talked myself into considering that a bargain). :D

      Well, I've been seriously considering it (aaaand, I'm glad that I made you laugh :-). I have a fear of blogging failure though, which I suppose means running out of things to say, or disappointing my readers (who will, of course, hang upon my every word *ahem*) by not posting often enough. But truthfully, as a wise woman once shared with me, "The sun will go on rising and setting, whether I fail at blogging or not." ;D

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    5. Aaah! You caved, you caved!! Although I'll admit that I have debated whether or not to buy them separately...but every time I stop myself before that debate gets to far advanced. If I could just find someone around here who caved on the Part 2, who would let me borrow it...

      Hey, girl...I'm pretty darn confident that anything you have to say will be great. I mean, you're comments alone are HILARIOUS all the time, anything you wrote would surely be the same! And I'd be there reading it! So...keep thinking about it, k? But don't think too long...just do it!

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  16. I'm proud of you, Kel. Just saying...Ryn

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    1. Thanks, Ryn. I love you, too. Looking forward to our sisters date. :)

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  17. I'll be praying for you, Kellie. God is in control, and He's got a beautiful reason for this. :) I guess we all have to learn at some point what real, painful trust is. :/

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    1. Absolutely! "Real, painful trust" - I like that. Thank you for your prayers, Bree!

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  18. Kellie, I am so sorry to hear about your job situation! Being unemployed and unsure of what's next for you is so hard. But you (ahem, I) need to remember that our God is the same God that He was when we were employed and unemployed. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow and He's got great plans for you! Who knows, maybe you'll somehow end up closer to me? Just kidding. :)

    Anyway, know that I'm thinking + praying for you right now. Thank you for reminding me to trust Him no matter what!

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    1. Thanks, Kiki! And it WOULD be pretty cool if we ended up closer to each other! As long as my family came with me, that is. ;)

      And thank you for those bolstering words, and for your prayers! I've never been good at waiting (who is??) and so this is definitely testing me a lot.

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  19. I am so sorry to hear about your job, Kellie. I can imagine how difficult it is, and how hard it would be for me, if I were in your place, not to be anxious about the future. Just rest in the Lord's promise that He will guide you (Isaiah 58:11) and also that His timetable is not our timetable, nor are His ways our ways (Isaiah 55:8). In one of the sermons I heard recently, one that really hit me between the eyes, the pastor said that everything we go through down here is preparing us in some way for eternity. Wow. For me, it is sooo easy to forget the bigger picture. The Lord uses the hard things we go through to build character, and even though He may lead us through the fire, we can rest assured that we will not be burned (Isaiah 43:2) and we shall come forth as gold (Job 23:10). Praying for you, sister!

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    1. Thank you for that response, Kate, and for all those scriptures!!

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  20. I'm right there with you, Kellie! I'm unemployed as well. I had a short-term job for 10 months, but that has ended and I'm now back home and searching for what is next. It has been difficult for me and discouraging somewhat. And it definitely makes me anxious about the future. But, like you said, God has always provided for me. And I'm certain that He will keep providing for us! :)

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    1. Here's to both of us finding our perfect jobs, Jess!! God will provide for us, I know that. I just hope it's before I have to leave my sweet little house. :(

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    2. Aw! I hope that too! I bet your house is awesome. My last semester of college I had my own apartment and I LOVED it. I was just thinking the other day how much I miss it. It was wonderful! :(

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    3. I bet it was awesome! How sad to have to have left it!

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  21. Oh Kellie, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this! Being unempolyed can be terrifying - even for those of us who truly know and believe that God will provide. I'll be praying for a job for you and also that you will experience God in amazing ways during this season of life!

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    1. Thank you, Susannah! That is so tremendously kind of you to pray for me!!

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