Friday, September 6, 2013

Friday | Forcasted: More Change

When I first suspected that this year was going to be a year of change, I really had not anticipated the roller coaster that I've been on in the last six months. Moving out. Losing my job. Being unemployed for almost two months. Getting a job at Target. And now...moving back home again.

Yup, I'm homeward bound tomorrow afternoon. As much as I find myself enjoying my active and fast-paced job as one of the food and produce managers at Target, the paycheck it generates doesn't go far enough to safely cover the expenses that come with living out on my own. I've crunched numbers 'til they swam in front of my eyes, schemed and plotted, tried to find a second job and in the end, just sat and prayed and prayed and prayed...and in the end, how it pans out is that I'm losing my happy little home with my happy gray walls and going home again.

I have mixed emotions about it, really. In some ways, I'm excited to be going home, especially as the holidays are rapidly approaching and I love the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons at Home. But of course, in very many other ways I'm broken up about losing everything that I've established and been able to do while living independently alone.

I find myself tempted to think that God didn't come through for me. After all, He could have provided a different job, even a second job. He could have pulled heavenly strings and fixed some of my financial issues in a blow-up-the-sky kind of God-way. I mean...I've prayed and prayed and prayed for Him to make a way for me and to provide for me. I knew it was Him leading me to live out on my own five months ago, so why no such guidance now?

What has hit me in a profound way that has squelched all my doubts and suspicions is the realization that just because I don't get to live at my happy little house anymore, that that doesn't mean God didn't provide for me. I have a place to go to when finances get tight, unlike many other people. I have a loving family who are more than happy to have me home again. I have a sister who's giving me back my bottom bunk bed. I have a dad who's willing to let his twenty-six year old single daughter live at home under his roof rent-free. I have a job to begin with.

I am so provided for.


  1. ::HUG::
    Oh dear friend. I've wondered if something has been up of late. I'm so bummed & feel bad I haven't kept in touch with you recently, especially since you've been going thru all this.
    I know you know God is our provider--& you are totally right to count those blessings--but I'm so sorry you have to go thru this rough time. My dear Kellie--know I think of you often & pray for you more. <3

  2. Sounds hard. :( Good perspective. And like with all good perspectives that defy emotions, may God help you keep it up. :-P

  3. I am so sorry about all these changes and new seasons you've been going through Kellie. If there is an upside, I am happy to know you have a job and as you say, it'll be great to be home again at this time of year - there's nothing more special than spending the holidays with family.

    Wishing you an easy, smooth transition - in retrospect, there IS no place like home, right!? :)

    Thinking of you, my friend. <3

  4. I feel for you with the changes and the roller-coaster ride. Sometimes it's especially hard when we know God clearly led one way, and then the path turns in a totally different direction than expected. "What? Did I miss something? God, what's this all about?" Praying that you'll cling to Him through the ups and downs. And that He will give you many reminders of His love and faithfulness.

  5. Yeah for liking your job and having a safe loving place to live! Boo about giving up your apartment!
    I can't imagine life without my family, and parents who are willing to let me live under their roof (I do pay a small amount of rent.....emphasis on small) long after the "normal" time!

  6. Your last few lines are exactly what I came to realize when I moved back home. And it is something that my parents so graciously keep showing me. And for that, I am so thankful. :)

  7. amen,sister! i am not where i thought i would be at 26yrs old either...and i hope to move out of my lovely and always gracious and amazing parents' house asap BUT i know i am blessed beyond my means already.

    have a great weekend,though!!

  8. I'm so sorry, Kellie. You are so positive during this whole experience, and I really admire that. I'll continue to pray for you. <3


  9. Prayed for you girly. Going through a rough time right now myself...waiting to see what the Lord will do. It's hard......


  10. Praying for you. Know exactly what you mean....your post as usual was exactly what I needed right now. Love ya!

  11. You're doing the brave things, Kellie, by choosing truth over feelings. You challenge me in that way, thank you :)


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