So close to reaching that famous happy end,
Almost believing that this was not pretend,
Lets go on dreaming, for we know we are,
So close, and still so far.

The undulating waves of hope are mysterious and undependable. One moment, hope rises to the top, seemingly to defy all doubt and question. The next, by a mere word or careless deed, that hope falls, hits the ground, and lays gasping for any breath. There must be some kind of middle ground, some safe harbor to rest the weary heart. But when that same heart is filled with desire and yearning, it continues to climb desperately for the top again, no matter how many times it falls. Will the heart ever learn to leave hope behind? Is hope it's savior...or it's nemesis? I cannot say. But what I do know is:

"I will yet hope in God my Savior; I will yet praise Him more and more."

If you asked me "how are you," I would reply truthfully that I am doing well. Yet very few will see that whereas "I'm well" is correct, it also encompasses a deep well of unfathomable sadness. I AM "well," but it's underlined and overshadowed by a overwhelming sense of sorrow. It amazes me in a tragic sort of way that life can proceed and go on like it seemingly always has, but it many ways, the very lights that made it bright have simply gone out.

I foresee that the large bowl of chocolate on the community food table with be drastically reduced by 4:30 today...

One of my favorite lines in all of the Anne of Green Gables books is the one that says "there is a book of revelation in ever one's life." Here is Anne, suddenly realizing that the man she's spurned all her life and who now lies dying, is really the man she's loved and cannot live without. The book of Revelation was opened in her heart, and she saw things as they really are.
My book of Revelation has slowly been opening the past few weeks, but somehow I've completely missed one of the main ideas of the revelation's message. The message has been simple: I am proud. I am haughty. I am self-righeous. I am self-centered. I look upon myself as greater than others. I have looked at how close I am to God, rather than how far away from God I am. I have elevated my spiritual knowledge and experience up to an equal level with God Himself. I have belittled the standards and spiritual experiences of others, because I felt that somehow I had had a special spiritual touch from God that others hadn't been entrusted with. How wrong I have been.
In Anne's life, her revelation made her the recipient of her heart's dream. In my book of revelation, I am the one who lost so much.

The happy giggle of an 8 month old little girl is a sound that refreshes the spirit and lightens the heart.

Sometimes the heart is just too full to speak. Sometimes the heart is just too empty to speak. Sometimes it's just both.

I reached for another kleenex from my office's handy-dandy kleenex box amd pulled on the protruding piece of white softness. As I watched the next piece follow at it's heals, I realized that a miracle had transpired! For, lo! The next kleenex wasn't WHITE, but a destinct shade of "gold!" I have found the golden kleenex! What did I win??

In just one moment, the course of my day was completely changed. And not for the positive. All it took was one moment of forgetfulness, and I am left with a whole day ahead of me to face without the companionable presence of that which I had anticipated most. It leaves such a void in my heart, a sense of being alone, helpless, destitute...oh, that I could go back to that instant when my day was unknowingly so drastically altered! Pray, you ask, what has happened to incure this great sorrow down upon you? I answer....

I left my Mac-n-Cheese sauce at home!! Lunch menu: cold, dry noodles. Nice.

With the overcast weather and the delightful sprinklings of rain on the windows, it seems only fitting that classical should be the musical choice for the day. Thanks to my friend Pandora, my snug little office is filled with the soothing strains of Bach, Vivaldi, Handel, & Co. Life is good.

It is a highly unusual experience to be sitting at your desk and to have a large dog walk through the door into your office...is this normal??

I find it rather peculiar, seeing as how I work in "the Port's" Environmental Department, that they still use paper towels in the bathrooms. What happened to save the trees, go green??