Friday, June 3, 2011

Reminders: Fear

Note to self:

"When I am afraid I will trust in You.
In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust;
I shall not be afraid."
Psalms 56: 3 & 4
Now, I don't generally do the "flip open your bible and look at the first verse you see" tactic in hearing from God (I would discourage this practice as a very strong general rule)...but this morning I felt like I needed a special word from God. I just felt clueless as to what it was or where to find it. I flipped pages...and landed on Psalms 56, and read the above verse. "When I am afraid" LEAPT out of the page...and I knew that I was afraid.

My fear hasn't been a fear of what's on the outside - a fear of the dark, a fear of being kidnapped, a fear of driving off a bridge, etc. My fear is a different kind of fear altogether. I'm afraid of God never speaking to me; afraid of always being alone; afraid of never been seen as "worth-ful" again; afraid of the foolish fancies of my own heart (fancies can be so powerful); afraid of always being disappointed.
Instead of looking soley to the Lord and trusting in Him, I've been placing my eyes on my problems. In so doing, the problems only grew, while my grasp on God only weakened. I do not need to be afraid, or nervous, or unsettled - even if what I face IS "worthy" of all those feelings - but rather, calmly and quietly reminding myself of who I serve, who owns me, and that "this I know, that God is for me." (vs. 9)
The issues remains. But it's looking ALOT smaller now as I subdue my fears and remember that God is at my side and even this petty ordeal is being taken care of by Someone who is all for me.

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