I’ve gotten back into playing my favorite game lately. You know, that game - the Compare Yourself to Everyone Else one.
Okay, I lied. It’s not my favorite game. But you’d think it was judging by how much I play it and how seriously I take it.
“Her blog is better than mine.”
“This blog has more followers than mine.”
“She has someone special and I don't.”
“She’s skinnier than me.”
“She has more freedoms than me.”
“She’s stronger spiritually.”
“She has a kitchenaid and I don’t.”
(yes, I have though that recently!)
It’s hard to be just me. On the inside of my head looking out, the things I have seem normal and insufficient and everyone else’s lives seem so much more…well, more! And trying to be “content” sometimes feels like having to settle for being the underdog of the fashion/achievement/relationship/Christianity scene.
But perhaps…
As a born-again Christian, the rights to my identity were bought by Christ. Just like the NLTB watermark I put on the left-hand corner of all my pictures, there is a watermark on my heart, soul and body claiming me as the copyright property of Jesus Christ. I’ve been tattooed with the copyrights of Christ and it’s not done in ink – it’s done in His blood.
The only Comparison Game that I should play is the one where I compare myself to Christ.
Am I like Christ?
Am I patient like Christ?
Do I love like Christ?
Do I ache for the lost like Christ?
Do I conduct myself as someone following Christ?
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Yah, she has a relationship/marriage and I don’t…but I don’t have to be in a relationship/marriage to be someone and to enthusiastically live and enjoy life.
Yah, she’s a strong Christian...but I don't have to be the strongest, because simply...I'm not.
Yah, she has a kitchenaid…but really? Where would I put one if I had one?? :)
I'm not the strongest. Or the prettiest. Or the godliest Christian single. I'm not the one with the Most Content award. I'm not the best. I'm not the one with the most enviable blog in the neighborhood.
But I’m owned. Bought up. Marked. Copyrighted. Tattooed. Loved. By God.
I’ll always want to compare myself to others. It’s a temptation I’ll never fully beat, I fear. But when I remember just how loved I am…it doesn’t feel like settling for underdog.
It feels more like taking a magic carpet ride and discovering a whole new world.
*launches into song*
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At least not today.
**wink**
Hahaha...Had to laugh at your last line. I really like this post though. I didn't think of writing you when I sent out the email but would you be interested in guest posting on my blog next month? Maybe even this post? I'll send you the email right now. :)
ReplyDeleteIris♥
I guess you don't have an email or I can't find it but I'll be busy with school next month but don't want my blog to be desolate....just let me know.
DeleteThis is beautiful. Thanks so much for encouraging me today! I know exactly what you mean - comparing myself to everyone else and feeling rather flat and... cheated.
ReplyDeleteBecoming like Christ is such a beautiful thing. Watching these insecurities and jealousies falling away like melting snow in the light of His love. PRAISE GOD!!
P.S. I just noticed that your middle. name. is Ann. Without-an-E! We're totally twins! :D
I think that game is every girls favorite.....or at least the one we all play the most!
ReplyDeleteYet again you are spot on girl, you are always so encouraging and have me nodding and smiling by the end of your posts!
If I wasn't so afraid of needles a tattoo is something I've always secretly wanted....but fear of needles kind of puts the kibosh on that! Though I do just about have myself psyched out enough for a nose piercing, one of those cute little sparkle ones! ;-)
Great post, Kellie. You bring up some thought-provoking, excellent truths that we all need to be "hit over the head" with one occasion. Figuratively speaking, of course. :)
ReplyDeleteOh girl, this post is so true to me right now! Comparing is so easy to do and yet so harmful to both me as an individual and in my relationship with Christ as well! Thank you for always writing so truthfully and so vulnerably. We are His and He really does live IN us. :)
ReplyDeleteIris: Hehe, glad it made you chuckle! And I sent you my email, gral. ;)
ReplyDeleteKellie: Amen! It's hard to put Christ's love over the approval of others. When I step back and truthfully analyze my life, I'm shocked by how much that desire for approval dictates SO much of my life...when none of that matters in the presence of God! Thanks for your honest comment, I'm encouraged! And wow! We really ARE twinkies!! Yay for the Kellie Ann-without-an-e's of the world!
KatySue: I'm glad you find these posts encouraging, girl! You're honest comments in return bless me beyond words! I really mean that. :) Nose piercing? Do it, gral, do it!! I plan on getting the same kind of nose piercing whenever I leave home. :)
Rissie: Thanks, Rissi! Hehe, well, sometimes a less-than-figurative "hit on the head" might be just what I need! :)
Kiki: I think comparison is SO true of just about every girl, if not person, in the world! It's so harmful, yet it's so easy to do and sometimes the push to be "best" can almost be fun, as we see ourselves "rising in the ranks" of cool people...but it's so draining, so pointless and so wrong! But so hard to stop doing. Like really, really hard. But with Christ's help and His constant reminders of His approval of who we are just as we are, we can triumph over even ourselves! Hugs, gral!
As you might already know, I SO much appreciate honesty. And I can realte to this a lot. I compare myself and work so hard to gain others' approval. A lot of work for no reason. It's exhausting! Thanks for the encouragement :)
ReplyDeleteOh and I kinda thought you had maybe gotten a tattoo. Ha!
Brea: The longer I keep re-drawing it on my wrist...the more I'm seriously considering taking the plunge and making it permanent! I find the constant reminder to be really helpful and encouraging and so affirming. :)
ReplyDeleteOkay, I seriously think you just read my mind. Comparison. It's a terrible thing that I can't ever seem to fully get rid of. As soon as I think I've got it conquered, it pops right back up. But you're so right. I....WE are bought and loved and special and awesome. Just as we are. And while we shouldn't decide to just stay that way, God still loves us exactly where we're at, and exactly where we're going to be. Praise His name!
ReplyDelete"A whole new world! A fantastic.....da da da da da daaaaa!!!" Okay, so I can't remember all the lyrics, but as soon as you mentioned those words, I immediately started the first line in my head. :P
But seriously, thanks for your honesty and encouragement. It's appreciated! :)
Kara: Amen, sistah! It's the Lord's constant, never-wavering love that should motivate us to improve ourselves, not comparing ourselves to others! When I focus on how much God loves me even when I'm small, weak and often a failure, it's there that I find the true power to BECOME bigger, stronger and better in my life! When I look to others to find that power or rather, even to just compare myself to their strengths, there's only negative helps. Something I'm definitely working on right now, with God's help, and every step towards casting off my habits of comparison are so lightening! Thank YOU for your honest and open discussion on this! I am always so overwhelmingly encouraged when I find other blog buddies who are in the same places as me, who are willing to open up and share with each other! Thanks, sister-friend!
DeleteHehe, I find Disney lyrics can apply to SO many aspects of life. Or maybe I just love old-Disney so much that it just oozes out all the time. ;)
Disney lyrics ALWAYS apply! I had choir in school and we sang loads of Disney songs. It doesn't take much for one to pop into my head whether I remember it correctly or not. :D
DeleteYES! I constantly remind myself that I don't know what the other person is going through. I don't know their troubles. God only asks me to look at HIM not anyone else. Of course I'm going to fail to live up to my ideal when my ideal is to have just as many blog followers or look just a put-together or always have the right thing to say, just like this person over here. That person is probably as conflicted as I, I simply can't read their mind and see what they're dealing with. But I should warn, that while all of this sounds great, God's definitely still working with me on it. Far, FAR too often do I look horizontal for my standard when it is waving high above me just waiting for me to look up. Getting together for Bible study helps. As does lovely blog posts like this one. ;) And just being honest with my friends, telling them where my faults are and asking for prayer and accountability.
Oh me too! I love finding blogging friends who like to share and comment and be real. So thank YOU!
Sorry for the lengthy comment. (I tend to get quite wordy!) But God is so gracious with us, and so are new blog friends. Right? ;)