Yesterday was a wonderful day. I had my venti green tea lemonade to start off my morning, fun conversations with people at work, coffee chat (keyword: chat, not date) with a friend of mine and then a ride in his brand spankin’ new bright-red-with-black-stripes-down-the-hood Camero. I really try and not be materialistic…but gotta admit, I seriously felt like the cool kid sitting in that front seat! :)
But later on, something happened. I found out something heartbreaking about a friend of mine. It touched my heart to its deepest core and I felt broken, completely, utterly shattered. It weighted so heavy on my heart all I wanted to do was curl up in the dark and weep. Weep over my friend, weep over the choices they’ve allowed in their lives. Weep huge, heartbroken tears over them. It left me pretty stripped open and raw.
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In the face of grief over a loved one's sinful choices and, to all appearances, no thoughts of repentance over it, I've had this song on repeat in my head, like the banner anthem of my own heart that's so full I don't even know how to pray. It's become my heart's prayer over a friend I love whom I want to so much to find redemption and healing for what in many ways, is a frail and broken life.
One of the hardest things about praying for someone's who's lost their way is knowing that most often there is a lot of time between the prayers and the answer, even when the fervency and intercession of our prayers seems, to us, powerful enough to be the thing that surely should move God's hand. Waiting is so very, very hard, debilitating in fact. Because the prayers are for something so big and the opposition seems so strong and we love that person so much.
But with "Worn" playing on repeat right now, I'm trying to not look at the obstacles, the waiting or what might yet happen between now and the answer. But continually remind myself who I serve - the one who loves even deeper than I do, knows the hidden story better than I ever will and who "himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." (Romans 8:26)
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Good thoughts, Kellie! Watching friends wander from the narrow path is always so difficult! Praying for you as you pray for them...
ReplyDeleteSending a hug your way,
Lauren
I am so sorry about the sorrow over your friend and what its impact has meant and done. It is hard when you feel that someone is spinning out into the wrong direction and yet you don't know what you can do or feel as if you can't do anything to stop it.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever heard RSJames song, "You Are Loved"? It's a great song she wrote to a friend whose life had moved away from God.
You and your friend will be in my thoughts, Kellie! *hugs*
Lauren, thank you for your comment and your prayers! It's hard, but I'm trusting in the Lord over it! Or trying to, trust is something to re-do over and over again sometimes!
ReplyDeleteRissi, I have not heard that song before, I will be sure to look it up. It's amazing how powerful music, or even a tune, can be. Along with Worn on repeat this morning, I've had Christina Perri's "A Thousand Years" playing, which has NOTHING to do with what I'm praying for or dealing with, but yet just the tune and the music itself just sorta captures what I feel in my heart! Weird, but true. Thanks for your kind thoughts, Rissi!
Oh Kellie, I'm so sorry. You and your friend will be on my heart and in my prayers today.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, these are my favorite pictures of yours yet! I hope you do more like this!
I'm so sorry friend. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteOh Kellie, I am praying for you girl! But I am so glad and encouraged that you're turning to God during these times. Sending love your way! :)
ReplyDelete*hugs* I will certainly be praying for both of you! That's a really hard situation.
ReplyDeleteWe had an awesome sermon on Sunday from Daniel 10. It talks about the angel that visits Daniel after he's been praying and fasting for three weeks. And the angel (Gabriel I believe) tells him that God answered his prayer immediately after Daniel prayed it the first time by dispatching Gabriel. But satan hindered Gabriel for 21 days until Michael came and fought for Gabriel so he could deliver his message to Daniel. You can read it all yourself, but I just wanted to mention this one thing. God is answering your prayer, but satan may be hindering it. Meanwhile the angels are fighting for you! And for your friend! God is faithful no matter what happens. I know you already know this, but I hope this thought helps a little? The sermon just struck me hard and was so comforting and awesome. I hope it may do the same for you! (If you can make sense of what I'm trying to say anyway.)
Regardless, I just wanted to share. Hope it encourages. If nothing else, you have lots of prayer warriors behind you (see above) and God ahead of all of us!
Lyss, hey gral!! How are you?? Thank you so much for your prayers! They are so appreciated! And I have to admit...I am rather proud of these pictures!! A photographer friend of mine even said they were really good, which pretty much had me on a cloud for awhile! I just wish I knew what I was really doing when I take pictures! They usually turn out good by accident! :D
ReplyDeleteKatie, thanks, dear! I appreciate that a lot!
Kiki, you're a darling, you know that? And yes, I'm resolved to trust God in this and not let it shake my faith in God by questioning what He's doing! Which I'm prone to do, with disastrous effects on my faith. But not this time. :) *hug*
Kara, let me just say thank you!! I've been in touch with that passage in Daniel many times, but had failed to remember it during this instance! It motivates me to keep praying for my friend AND for the Lord's victory over, ultimately, evil. Thank you for taking the time to write all that, it really, really did give me encouragement this morning! Thanks, friendie! *hug*