Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Wednesday ~ Life Lessons: Adventures in Moving Out, 1st Ed.


I stated yesterday in the grand moving out reveal to "prepare for new adventures." What I forgot is that sometimes, adventures come in the form of lessons. And sometimes lessons are learned the hard way.

Last night, I had my first lesson in this moving out adventure.

This Friday night is our Annual Spring Dance. Remember the Autumn Dance from back in November? Well, in the same way that South America is "like America, but south," this Spring dance is like our Autumn dance...only in spring. In essence, that's code for a lot of work. And guess who's one of the principal players in the Getting Everything Ready department? Yup, me. And once again, guess who's been so self-absorbed in moving out that she's forgotten about anything else? Yes, me.

Yes, I'm moving out. But truth is...I don't have to move out this weekend (ie. day after the dance). I don't have to paint my room tonight. In my flurry over getting stuff for my room, agonizing over paint swatches and talking nonstop about moving...I've forgotten my commitment was to doing this dance. Which I'm so excited about, really, and can't wait for Friday to get here! But I've dropped the ball, which forced my family to pick up my slack. I've not been there for big planning moments, I've not helped with getting the lights figured out, I've pawned off MY BIG PROJECT onto my brother (who was helping me with it just because he's so amazing that way), I've forgotten to go pick up stuff I was supposed to pick up and all in all...shrugged it off on everyone else.



But the dance isn't my only commitment, neither is it my first. Because I also have a family I'm committed to, whom I love to the point of idol-worship (perhaps a post for a later day), and who themselves have to deal with the fact that with me moving out, life is changing drastically for everyone. Maybe hating change is a family trait, maybe it's because we're glued together tighter than most, maybe it's because we've just been together as family for so long...but me moving out really rocks the boat for all of us. And it's hard for all of us. We just love that deeply here.

But I've been running around like a headless chicken (which, for the record, don't actually run - they bounce), focusing on my time schedule...which has been so full of me being gone doing moving stuff, that I've not given anyone, let alone myself, the chance to just sit and be family living together one last time. I've made myself Number One, maneuvered everyone else around me to benefit me, and not taken the time to just be with my family.

Because I was so caught up in my plans, my time schedule, and my future.
Throw in that, plus getting this dance pulled together, and we have...

 Hi, I'm Kellie and I'm selfish, self-serving, manipulative, and self-absorbed. 

I don't want to move out this way. I don't want this crazy busy, self-absorbed person to be the girl who moves out. I want to love on my family, relish those casual talks around the kitchen, soak in the times spent curled up watching Andy Griffith after dinner, and just being.

Anyways, of course I'm still moving out and moving out very soon. But I'm putting the brakes on a little, at least until after the dance on Friday. 

So, I've learned my first lesson on this adventure of Moving Out before I even moved out. I'm really glad that God so gently pressed this on my heart last night (while in the shower, no less), and that I can shift my focus from me back onto, first and foremost, the One whom I serve on a daily basis and Who also commands me to "think of others better than myself."

Let's try this again.

16 comments:

  1. Some of my best thinking goes on in the shower. :) I hope that you and your family have lots of time together before you move out. Will you be close to them still? I am super close with my family too so I can understand the feelings you're having. Take time to soak it all in, it's a huge scary life change, but you're so lucky to have a wonderful supportive family to help you through it all!

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    1. Yes, I will definitely be close! My new house is only ten minutes away from home, and even closer to my two married siblings, so I'm really not going anywhere! But a lot can happen in that "ten minutes from home" time frame! I know it's all going to work out just fine and we'll find things that we like BETTER about me being on my own...it's just the actually LEAVING part that's hard! And not being there for the moment-by-moment unfolding of my family's lives. Doesn't help that I get so emotional! ;)

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  2. Oh friend! You have such a precious and tender heart. I do the same thing all the time! When something really exciting is pending I want to do everything NOW to get it done... and in the midst I bulldoze and forget people. :-( But you are so sweet and quick to righten things!
    Love ya!

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    1. Thanks, Suz!! We need to sit down and talk again soon...I'm really excited about being so close to you!! I'm anticipating a lot more fun times. You're sister is a fantastic person to have as a land lady/house mate!! :D Oh, and your baby is cute. :)

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  3. i'm the same way! i can be so single-minded sometimes, and i'm a terrible multi-tasker haha. i hope everything goes smoothly for you; i'm sure your family understand the stress you're under, but it's great that you've recognized your error and are working to fix it! :)

    grace & love,
    kristyn

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    1. Not only am I not a good multi-tasker, I'm also extremely "focused" when I get a project. Sewing, cleaning, any kind of project...it's like everything else fades into the background! I need to learn to pace myself better! Life is so much more pleasurable when you're not stressing out over things that don't really bare stressing out over! :)

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  4. I hear you, Kellie. You aren't alone. Sadly, this is something I struggle with also - it's too easy to forget about the little things, the big things - God - that we should be focusing on. I love my family and yet, I think all too often, I forget just how blessed I am to be a part of this family. :)

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    1. Why is it so easy to forget the things that mean so much to us? I cherish my family, but all too easily I find myself treating them like pawns to dance around the pillar of ME, when my mindset should be how to HELP and be a SERVANT to them. Thanks for your comment, Rissi! I always appreciate what you have to say!

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  5. Few things here, friendie...here's one HUGE hug from one hates-change gral to another! Oh my word--I feel ya about loving family SO much. Can't even imagine how bittersweet this must be--but God'll carry you through it, & I'm so thrilled to see how you heard His gentle whisper about putting on the brakes, & that you are acting upon His word. I am also estatic & excited & wish I could be there to buy you housewarming presents about this HUGE new step you're taking.
    Praying for you every.step.of.the.way, gral!
    P.S: cannot WAIT to see pictures of your dance! <3

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    1. Oh, Meghan, thank you!! You are such a treasure! Why some guy hasn't snapped you up, I'll never know! A few of our friends are actually thinking of throwing a house-warming party for us, since none of us girl really have anything! I tell people that we're like newlyweds who never had a shower or registry! :P

      And you can bet there will be lots of pictures of the dance! :)

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  6. I love hearing about all that's happening with you. Thanks for being honest about all that you're learning. Making myself slow down and enjoy God's blessings in the NOW is something I struggle with daily. Keep being brave :)

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    1. Thanks, Brea! You're words always mean a lot to me!

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  7. Hold the phone! Headless chickens bounce?! How did I not know this? :D

    I do understand though. All too well, unfortunately. Selfishness is a trait that never seems to go away. And the enemy loves to remind us of it all the time too. Which then adds guilt and shame and.......the list goes on. Praise God that He loves us still! Even in our sin and guilt and shame. And even better? He doesn't leave us there, but gives us grace and mercy and pulls us up into His glorious light. I shudder to think where I'd be without Him.

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    1. Hehe, yes, Kara! In my experiences with headless chickens (and yes, I've severed many a head with via ax and chopping block myself)...they don't "run," they basically got batsy and flop/bounce/jump all over the place...with their life's blood squirting everywhere making a mess. Sorry for the gross details, but "headless running chickens" is really a great misconception! :)

      Amen and amen, Kara! I'm so thankful for God's guidance! I was outside last night sitting against the garage petting my sweet little cat Jonesie, and I was just marveling to God how amazing it is that He directs and moves us and just DOES stuff for us! Isn't He great?

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  8. Oh girl, you are NOT alone in having moments of self-centeredness! I definitely have those moments, too. Thank goodness for showers and God-teaching moments! And thank you for once again being your real honest self here on your blog. It's truly inspiring to me!

    And here's to more family time in these next few days or weeks! You know how much I LOVE my family, so I totally get what you mean when you just want to squeeze in as much quality time in with them as you can. :)

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    1. Thanks, Kiki! I'm working on my "moments of self-centeredness" not become a life-pattern of self-centeredness!

      I'm definitely squeezing my quotas of family time in there whenever I can!! Sometimes I get all panicy about not having them around me all the time every day...but then I take a deep breath and remember I'm only moving barely ten minutes away and I can come home whenever I want to. :)

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