Thursday, June 20, 2013

Thursday | Adventures of Self-Supportive Living: the Siren Call of Wifi




It’s now been just over two months since I first moved out. Wow, two months? Seems  so strange that after months of praying and questioning the wisdom in moving, here I am - not only moved out, but two months into the adventure that’s now turning into just normal, every-day life, which includes unexciting things like going to the grocery tonight on my way home from work because I have nothing for dinner tonight.

There’s been a lot of changes. I’m busier, I’ve been eating out for lunch more than I should (courtesy of that empty fridge), I have to buy everything for myself (who knew laundry soap was so pricey? Thanks, mom, for buying it for us all these years!), I’m the one who’s solely responsible for my messy room and I spent most of my day all by myself.

But the biggest change for me has surprisingly been…the presence of wifi. Home (capital “H”), while it has pretty decent speeds on the family desktop, had only a limited amount of data (thank you, country living) and we didn't have wifi. So, evenings at Home often found me either reading a book, watching something with my siblings, or just kicking my heels back out on the porch swing, just being. And lots of time just hanging out with my family, who are indeed my greatest obsession. 

But now, it’s just me.  Me, my wifi, and my laptop, equipped with lovely things like Netflix, Hulu Plus, my email, online yard sales, etc. At first, having constant wifi anytime I wanted it was like a dream come true, but now? I’ll be honest with you, friends. I miss not having it. Because it’s a siren's call that, even when I’m making dinner or reading a book, is always calling me, urging me to check my email again, browse through my Amazon wishlist, add more potential shows to my Netflix instant queue, or to watch just an episode or two of whatever show I’m watching. Too many times lately I've found myself abandoning my plans for a quiet sit out in the backyard or a stroll through town and instead, I'm cocooning myself up on my bed in front of my laptop and tv.

It’s my instant go-to when I’m bored. Don’t know what to do? Check my email. None of the roomies are home? Okay, let’s marathon.  Feel lonely? Check the blog again. I realize one hundred glaring percent that I alone am responsible for how I choose to occupy my time, but for me, in some ways, having wifi is like a woman’s version of the biblical “strange woman.” It calls to me, saying it’ll satisfy, urging me away from the simple things, the important things (like my Sunday School lesson prep), and has me clocking out on time with my family earlier than I normally would. It’s just there. Beckoning. This is starting to sound slightly creepy. Sorry. *cute twilight zone theme*

And as I see our society becoming blind to simple life around them because their smartphone screens block the view, I’m seeing how I, too, am falling for this. I think it’s one of the reasons that I’ve felt so busy, because there’s always something that I could be doing online. You know what I mean?

I don’t want to be that woman who has more time for her online pursuits than for her family or friends.

I don’t want to that girl who defaults to online browsing when she’s board.

I don’t want to be that person who’s always rushing around or always looking for what's next instead of what's now.

I don't want to be that Christian girl who always cuts her time with God short because she sees her laptop sitting across the room and it reminds her of something else to do.

I want to live simple. And in my book, simple is lots of time with family, evenings spent with a book (or two), slow walks through town and meals that I actually make myself instead of thawing from a package or take-out. And of course my favorite - just sitting outside quietly enjoying a summer evening with no schedule or agenda. Just me and my west-coast sunset.

That's what my dream-come-true wifi has become - my task-master, instead of just a blessing to have when I need it or want a little extra splurge (since I still love my shows and marathons, but all things in moderation, right?).

So, yah, time-management and wifi-management. Two things I've definitely been learning about while on the Adventure of Self-Supportive Living. Take it from me - it's trickier than it looks sometimes.


"...and aspire to live quietly...
as we instructed you."
1 Thessalonians 4:11

22 comments:

  1. I love this. It's so hard to focus on being present sometimes. After a long day the husband and I will plop down in front of the tv or computer and just zone out... Which is ok sometimes, but it's hard to not make it a habit.

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    1. Exactly, Angela! It's so nice to just go "brain dead" for awhile and I'm still a huge proponent for watching your favorite shows, exploring new ones and utilizing such wonderful features as we have on the computer and tv. I'm a die hard for my marathons. :) But when it becomes my default to the extreme and I find myself always with the mental "goal" of getting to my computer throughout the day, that's when it gets unhealthy. Which is very often where I find myself at! I want to live simple and in the now, and at least for me (probably not this way for everyone), I find that even if I'm curled up in front of a movie or just "relaxing" on the computer, my brain is still working really hard and it ends up NOT being as "down time" as I think it'll be.

      Thanks for your comment! You've become a dear blog friend, Angela! :)

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  2. I definitely agree!!! There are many times we just get caught up and don't even realize that we are spending too much time online. Which reminds me, I better get off!!!

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    1. Haha, Levina, that last part made me laugh! And I like that point you made - because most of the time, we don't have even a clue that we're spending too much time "entertaining" our senses with a computer or tv screen. Here's to power-off buttons and coming out to smell the flowers! :)

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  3. Wow. I never considered NOT having WiFi. Everything you said is true though. It's a constant lure. And time consumer. I don't have a smartphone either, but I'm just as consumed by my laptop as I could be with a smartphone. When I'm dogsitting I have the extra lure of a TV with Food Network and Hallmark and TV Land. It IS like a siren--I almost want to plug your ears and say no, no, no, but then I want to watch stuff while I have the chance.
    I like your def. of simple living.
    Hm.

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    1. I've been blessed with a Dad who never buys into what's popular, especially when it's media/entertainment related. From him, I've learned that so often what is deemed necessarily and vital...really isn't. Internet being one of them. Over the years, we've never had super-fast internet (until like a year or so ago!), usually had some kind of time restrictions, and there have actually been large chunks of time when he decided to just disconnect it altogether. Which was always frustrating at the time, but even then, I could easily see how much simpler life was without it. Like me and Facebook - Facebook is almost considered one of the Five Necessary Ingredients for Life these days and I bought into that for so long. But now, it's been a year and a half without a traditional account and I honestly don't really want to go back to that time-consuming, mind-numbing, drama-filled activity. My life is honestly so much less complicated and so much more simpler just because I don't use Facebook in the traditional sense.

      So, I'm so thankful for a dad who's always looked at what's popular through discerning eyes and never gave in just because it was normal or popular. Because of it, I've grown up with a little bit of a mindset that things like internet are just...extras. Not the main thing.

      But I still am just as easily sucked into it as the next person, perhaps even more so than some, since I have very little self-discipline. Something I need to work on with God's help.

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  4. Ain't that the truth, it's so easy for a quick email check to turn into three hours.....not that oh so responsible, not easily distracted me has EVER done that.....more then once or twoce that is.....okay, maybe a few more times then that..... =P

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    1. Lol, Katysue! You never fail to give me a smile and a laugh. :)

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  5. Oh gosh, I so hear this. I'm guilty of all of the above sometimes. It's hard to unplug these days.

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    1. Which is exactly my point, Cassie, and something that I'm really trying to wean myself from. I want to live fully in the now, in a simple manner. :)

      Thanks for commenting! :)

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  6. Well put, Kellie. I never have felt the Internet was "bad" though there are traps we can fall into that are dangerous if we aren't careful - and also allowing the 'net to rule us isn't healthy. Time-management is what it comes down to - and no matter how much I preach it, I fall into the habit of being on-line ALL THE TIME also. It's important to separate the two and as a result, generally, I've set aside weekends as "internet free" times. It's been really nice.

    It's a struggle because the Internet has introduced me to some of the wisest young, Christian women I've ever met - they've inspired and wrote things that confronted me in the best sense. It's been refreshing to meet people who share some of the same beliefs and were raised similar because most the time even the Christian families we've encountered thought my parent's were nuts for homeschooling. Because of that, I am not willing to "give up" Internet connections because honestly, I think in my "community," it's more than just an avatar, it's relationships, friendships and opportunity for wise council/encouragement.

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    1. I agree with you one-whole-hundred percent, Rissi! Just like you say, the internet isn't a bad thing, not at all and it's actually a HUGE blessing and help in our daily lives. I'm certainly not the one to say that it's wrong to have internet and I'm certainly not going to be the to start a legalistic religious cult that's anti-internet. I'm sure someone's already started one. ;)

      The trap for me is really...my own lack of self-discipline, as well as my own fascination for being on the web. And whereas I don't think I would ever got to NO internet at all, but what I often find myself missing (and was referring to mainly in the post) is the limited access to it. At Home, we only had a certain amount of GBs we could use during the month, since only certain companies could bring faster internet out to where Home is, but in so doing, could only offer limited amounts (at least for a price that wasn't exorbitant). At my new place, I've got unlimited, quick, easy access, which makes for quite the contrast. It's just having more of a non-negotiable limit that I miss.

      And I love that last paragraph of yours! Because I, too, have found such an incredible, unexpected community! Which I'm so thankful for. :)

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  7. Ahhh, yes. The Internet. *said in a dark and ominous tone* I also have a very complicated love/hate relationship with that awful and wonderful thing. It's so darn handy and useful and I really can't imagine life without it, but it definitely has huge time-wasting potential in my life.

    When my family upgraded our dial-up to something a little faster during my junior year of high school (and I began actually using the internet instead of avoiding it like the plague because of its painful slowness), it didn't take long for me to notice a big change in how my brain functioned. I had a MUCH shorter attention span when it came to school work, and even the books I read for fun! Instead of picking up a book when I was bored, I just surfed around, read blogs and random articles, and bought way more stuff than I ever had before (ironically, most of that spending was aimed at books - which I no longer read as much because of the internet's lure).

    Anyway, looking back, I can see that even though I still appeared to be a "smart" student, I would have learned way more during my last two years of high school without that distraction (or with a greater amount of self-control, I guess). The struggle with managing cyberspace - and its superficial, often mindless, entertainment-based nature - with all the real-life stuff going on around me (like awesome people to hang out with, and physical places visit, and whole books read) still goes on.

    Excellent post, Kellie, and a great reminder! I really do *know* all of this stuff, but a little prod here and there to actually live it out is always helpful.

    Signed,
    The-girl-who-should-probably-get-off-the-internet-right-now-and-work-on-something-else :D

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    1. Yup, yup! My attention span has shortened when it comes to reading and other "simple" things, but it's very tolerant of loooong, drawn-out, mindless web-surfing and other "pointless" things!! :D

      We actually didn't upgrade from dial-up until barely two years ago, so I'm well acquainted with dial-up speeds...or lack thereof. I think I also learned a lot about patience and waiting for things.

      Same here, Taylor! I know all this stuff...but I have to keep being reminded all the time! :D

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  8. Wow! You described me to a T. Don't know if I could do no internet. People ask me what my hobbies are....or what I do for fun. "Hmmmm...my blog, pinterest, FB, my blog, pinterest" Sometimes I wish I could just turn off my computer but the thing is....I do school on here and it's so easy to slip and surf on the net. :/

    If I had not school....I'd do lots of DIY's and read books and turn off my computer. :)

    Iris♥

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    1. That's gotta be hard, Iris! With having to do school on your computer, it's gotta be so easy to get distracted by other delightful things like blogs and Pinterest!

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    2. Check out this article, Iris (please ignore some of the language) and maybe download the site-blocking program he talks about? http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/08/13/productivity/

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  9. This is (was?) DEFINITELY ME!!! I found myself turning to the internet whenever I had nothing to do, AND making excuses to put off other things so I could get on the internet! Bad, right? Especially Pinterest. *scary music*

    So about 3 weeks ago I got tired of looking back on the past year and thinking, "Where has my life gone? Oh yeah, it's been on the internet..." and so I kinda on a whim decided I was going to do NO computer for a week. ok rephrase that, I would borrow a computer if I needed to do something uber-important, but no recreational computer time.

    For the first 3 days I wandered a bit aimlessly, actually quite bored! but I started getting used to it, reading more books, spending more time with my family and with God, and more than anything just realizing that LIFE was in front of me, not something I found on other blogs, Pinterest and Facebook.

    My mindset went from "The internet is life. Everything else is just filler." to "I've already been on here 15 minutes, goodness I need to get off and back to real life!"

    I think that's something we miss a lot when we're on the internet and social networking a lot - that life is *gasp* IRL. And not what we read about other people's lives.

    So I definitely would encourage everyone that feels that "addiction," if you possibly can, cut at least all RECREATIONAL (if not ALL) internet just for one week. See how your mindset changes! Life will feel so much fuller!

    (and if you are having trouble doing your WORK [or school] on the computer without doing other things, check out this article: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/08/13/productivity/)

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    1. That's fabulous, Sharon!! I have actually done some things similar to your week-fast before, whether it was self-induced or it was something my family was doing together. My biggest thing was FACEBOOK, wow, talk about my life being wasted on that thing. Even if I was physically on it, I was getting notifications on my phone, constantly updating my status and just looking for affirmation all over the place. Over a year and a half ago, I finally just was SO emotionally sick of it all...that I finally, after a really hard struggle, deleted my account. And wow, like you, for those first few days it was HARD, serious withdrawals. But talk about LIFE CHANGING!! Once I got beyond the initial hardship, I seriously have LOVED not being a part of the Facebook culture. I find that I haven't missed out on anything, since news and stuff eventually finds it's way to me anyway. And my life is less drama-filled and I don't feel like I'm carrying around the burdens and dramas and every-day activities of several hundred other people. Whoo. Just the thought of going back to that makes me shaky! I know someday, I will (with major modifications!) But for now, I'm quite happy without it!

      Thanks for you long comment! I really commend you for your decision to go off it for awhile! That can be really hard, but I know from personal experience that it's also REALLY amazing as you have some much more time to, like you said, just LIVE. :)

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  10. *I should also add that I decided to not get back on Pinterest... BEST DECISION!!! That was the worst time waster!
    **um whoa that was a novel of a comment! lol sorry!!
    ***it's not on my profile but my blog (was) runforyourlifefitness.blogspot.com :) Just so you know who I am!

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    1. Good girl! I'm actually never been a big Pinterest person, so that's never been a time-waster for me. Now it's the limitless number of tv shows and movies available through Netflix and Hulu. Gotta keep a watch on how much time I spend doing that!

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  11. I understand this. Oh how I understand this. :/ Just being. I like that thought. I want more of that in my life! Time-wasters can be anything we let them be, can't they? Great post, Kellie! My mind is full, but I can't make anything come out coherent enough to type. So I'll leave my comment here. I really appreciated this post bunches! Truly. Thanks for the food for thought. :)

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Oooh, you're about to comment! How exciting! Know that you are SO MUCH MORE than just a name and a comment to me - you're a person I'd like to get to know! Make sure you check back, as I reply to each comment. I love getting to talk/correspond with each of you!