Friday | Castle Ruinous

Today I went on an adventure. All by myself. A mini road trip and an afternoon of photo taking, beauty soaking and river-side sitting. It was lovely. It's been a highly stressful week at work and I really just needed the time by myself to think, ponder, maybe cry a little and just detox all the issues that took me by surprise.

This place was perfect. I came away feeling braver and ready to embrace all the life has for me once again - the good, the bad and all the awkward moments in-between.

Friday | Three Random Photos

 

 My Target bag

My cat

Me and my newest nephew Toby

Sunday | Old Singles on Ice

Happy Sunday!

Last night found me and my group of "old singles" bundling up for an evening out on the ice rink. I feel like it's been so long since I've spent much time with these people, since I don't see them on Sunday mornings anymore, so I was beyond excited to get to hang out with all of them.

I spent most of the evening out on the ice, but Katheryn wielded the camera and got a few shots for the posting!

Incidentally, our "old singles" group is no longer just made up of singles. The above picture is a sample of the most recent cuteness to hit the news. :)

I'm so thankful for my friends, the ones I've known all my life and the ones I've gotten to know recently. Each one is so important to me and I'm so grateful that the Lord has given me this group of people to belong to. We're not fancy or formal, but we make awesome things out of our own variety"normal!"

Thanks, friends, for over a year of being together as a group!

Thursday | My Honest Thoughts on the New Year

Good morning and Happy New Year, friends!

How was your New Year's Eve celebrations this year? I went all out this year - two tubs of Moose Tracks ice cream instead of just one. Apparently I have no dieting goals for this next year. I spent the earlier part of the evening at some friends house but returned home to spend the last of the year with the people who mean the most to me. That, and I couldn't miss our ridiculous tradition of singing Auld Lang Synge in full harmony and not a little bit of mock seriousness as the clock changed from 2013 to 2014! Never without a tradition around our house! :)

.

I don't have any goals for this year, I gave up on those a long time ago. To be honest, the year's transition has been a bit of a tough one for me. As I've looked on the recent years past, I've realized that what's ahead of me looks very familiar. Working, making ends meet, watching everyone else find their dreams and have big adventures, having dreams of my own but no way of making them happen, just plugging on one cloned day after another. I'm basically in the same exact place I was in a year ago, two years ago, five years ago...and that, in my skeptic mind, next year at this time, I'll likely be in the exact same place again. That's hard for me.

I know the point of not knowing what's ahead means anything could happen...but when you hold your breath long enough, you do eventually run out of air.

But if I have to keep doing the same thing again this year...there's no one I'd rather do it with than the people I've been doing it with for so long! I have seven nieces and nephews to pour myself into, siblings who are my best friends, who are pursuing their own goals and need someone to catch their back and support them in their career endeavors, I live in a small town that will always be home no matter what and I've got two cats who keep my own heart purring.

 I'll make that enough for me, because all that is already more than I deserve.

What are your thoughts on the coming year? You excited about the unknown and anticipating big things? Or are you tucking your feet inside a pair of cozy slippers and settling in for another year of the familiar?

Because despite all of it, whether we face the familiar or the unknown, we've got Jesus and what I love about the new year, especially this year, is that it brings us that much closer to His coming back for us. And the older I get, that becomes the greatest dream of my heart and highest hope of what the year might hold. Maybe it'll be this year.

I'm so ready.

So, happy New Year, my friends!

Tuesday | Life & December Recap

Hey, there!

 



There are two responses to the question of "how are you?" that I absolutely despise with a passion, the first being "I'm tired" and the second being "I've been busy" The response of "I'm tired" makes you and your life sound lame, boring and lifeless and "I've been busy" sounds, well, like some kind of excuse.

And whereas I still inwardly cringe at those answers, I must admit to having come to realize the reality of why someone may actually use them! Because "busy" and "tired" are two verbs that really do describe me pretty well! But not in a bad way, just a truthful way. :)

So, it's been forever and a day since I've really given a post on here, so here's the quick update on what's happening around here:

I'm still absolutely single. My long silence has nothing to do with being "preoccupied elsewhere" in that regards (because I know some of you have been wondering, haha!) I'm still at home living with the family and working full-time as the market/produce/grocery overseer for my Target. And frankly, loving it!! It's a perfect fit for me (making decisions, calling the shots, being in charge - what more could this natural-born leader want?), but it's the number one reason for the busy and tired. I'm on my feet all day, sometimes pushing myself to my physical limits as I keep it up and running. Stop by and see me sometime!

A few things I've done lately:

I built graham cracker Christmas houses with my "Old Singles" (as I affectionately call us) group.

I've seen Frozen twice, once with my niece and once with my sister and would totally go again. People, oh people...I love that movie. Can I get any amens??

I did lots of Christmas shopping and nearly exploded with the giving and getting, since "gifts" is my love language. Now you know why Christmas and birthdays are so special for me. :)

Spent as much time as I could celebrating Christmas in my own quiet way. Time to just sit and relax was hard to fine, but with some effort, I managed to squeeze some in. I love Christmas.

I had a lovely Christmas day with my family, although I was a little under the weather, brought on my shear exhaustion after a Christmas season and Christmas Eve in retail. I'm a survivor.

A few things I'll mention just for fun:

I'm seriously contemplating dying my hair dark, dark, dark brown. Sorry, brothers/in-laws.

I'm so thankful for three consecutive Sundays that I got to go to church in December. Because of my work schedule, I usually have to work Sunday mornings. And when I say "usually," I mean basically every Sunday. But I've been attending a local church's evening service to try and make up for it. Because frankly, I really miss church!

One of my best friends (15+ years!) is engaged! Yeeeeee-haaw!

And today I'm enjoying a half-day of work and a rare afternoon to just sit, relax and do whatever.

 Speaking of which...

...I'm off to finally watch the 50th Anniversary special of Doctor Who. :)

Wednesday | Because It's Christmas

Merry Christmas.
From me.
To you.

 

 

 

 

P.S. If you're wondering about a woman named Kellie

who used to blog here, she's still alive and hopes to soon

be able to make a comeback with all the non-news of

her recent life. :)



Saturday | If I Could Really Get It

If you could fully, completely grasp an aspect of God, what would you choose?

My answer came to me last night as I was curled up in the rocking chair by the fire, drying my socks after wearing a pair of mudboots outside to get a few logs to stoke the fire. I thought mud boots were supposed to be waterproof? I was doing some thinking and praying…and maybe some worrying, too. A friend’s marriage. A friend who needs a job. My car inability to stay fixed. Financial stresses. Tough decisions. What if’s.

And it came to me that if I could grasp, really, really grasp something in my walk with God, I’d choose to understand how tight God’s hand really is over every situation.

Because there’s nothing under my control and I like being in control and so many of my stresses in life are over things over which only God has control. And wow, what would life be like if I was able to see every situation, every circumstance, ever tough moment…as inescapably vice-gripped in God’s hand? Insomuch that I never questioned whether God would pull through or how things would end up working out – it was just a rock-hard given in my mind that God had it under control. Every. Single. Time. Because right now…life seems a little bit wibbly-wobbly (timey-wimey, anyone?), unsure, unstable…sometimes even hopeless. I see the needs I have, the needs my family and friends have…and I don’t see God as clearly as I see those needs.

But I know that somehow in the mix of it that God is in control, that nothing is in flux, nothing in life is a free-fall…it is under the super-control of God’s direction.

But I rarely feel like I really understand that. But I wish I did. Because if I did….wow.

Tuesday | Confessions From a Shop Girl

"There are shop boys, and there are boys who just happen to work in a shop for the time being."



I never once imagined that working at Target, specifically in the grocery section, would at times prove painful in the singleness department. Young moms come in with their kids, picking up the evening’s dinner, the laundry soap or a knickknack to make a house that much more their home. Young families come in together, the mom and dad chatting together and laughing with their little kids in the basket or in their arms. Sometimes young dads come in, a baby in their arms as they grab a quick item off the shelf, chatting away with a baby that can’t even talk back. And daily I see couples shopping together, holding hands and obviously in love.

All those people coming out of their cozy homes to buy what they need…and I’m just the girl stocking the shelves for them. The shop girl.

It’s been awhile since I really found myself missing that something in my life. For months, marriage has held no appeal and the independence-filled skies were the limit and should I have one day found myself married, I doubted whether or not I’d even want to have children at all. It’s been a great place to be – just me and my own future ahead.

All undermined by people who have no idea the stabs of pain hidden behind friendly eyes and a cheerful “can I help you find anything?” of the girl in the red and khaki.

So yeah, lately there’s been some heavy heart and empty smiles. I love being single (I really do, sometimes too much, actually) but I do have a purpose built inside the code of my DNA, put there by God when He created woman to be a wife on that very first day of human’s existence and honestly, that’s not going to change.

And once again, that’s okay and it’s normal. Read more on that here. But sometimes when being single lasts longer than we imagined…it’s hard and it’s lonely. So, anyways…just sayin’.

Single girls? Let’s bring it in:

 

Monday | Autumn

Fall is here and I feel like it's been flying by my car windows to and from work way too fast. To try and remedy that, today after work, despite sore feet and tired eyes, I grabbed the camera and took a mini-walk out in the back of our property. It was so pretty. I found a comfy hay bale out behind the barn, in the midst of the remnants of the barn dance a few weeks ago...and just soaked it in. Soaked in the left-over shadows of a festive evening and the autumn wonder in full flourish around me.

Fall is just so magical!